Friday, November 26, 2010

Black Friday humor, some things we have to be thankful for.

The day after Thanksgiving and many people are out hunting for bargains being offered by the desperate retail businesses in our depressed economy. Those of us who are lucky enough to still have jobs or are already retired are trying to stock up on some Christmas gifts to bring someone some needed cheer. If you were lucky enough to get that great bargain on a new iPod or laptop after camping out for three days at Best Buy, I'm happy for your resourcefulness. So what else can we be thankful for on this Black Friday? If you are thinking about air travel in the immediate future you can look forward to a sexual adventure at the hands of our ever diligent Transportation Security Administration, popularly known as the TSA. And if you happen to be a pretty young woman named Corinne Theile who has a lot of courage, you might want to wear a bikini when you pass through airport security. Thankfully, Miss Theile had the forethought to announce her intentions beforehand so that all the major television news bureaus could send out a crew to film her one-girl demonstration. Here is the way NBC Los Angeles described it:
Have Bikini, Will Travel
"I'm hoping by wearing a bikini they will see everything they need to see and we can avoid a pat-down"

Thousands of passengers were expected Wednesday at LAX, but only one left little to the imagination.

"I'm wearing my bikini," Corinne Theile said as she unbuttoned her overcoat outside the terminal to reveal a black two-piece. "It's not that I'm concerned, it's that I feel like the TSA is making travelers feel uncomfortable, and I feel like we can have security measures that don't make people feel uncomfortable.

"Every time I go through security I always say, 'I don't even know why I got dressed this morning.' I end up taking off belts, jewelry and everything else off anyway," Theile said.
Here are the video-tapped results, courtesy of NBC, CBS and ABC News.
NBC News

ABC News
And CBS News, The Early Show
Now we all know that one thing leads to another so following last week's spoofing of the TSA on Saturday Night Live it now appears that everyone is looking at the TSA as some kind of joke. On a more serious note, this whole enhanced security practice has been the direct result of the actions of more than just a few radical Muslim terrorists starting with the four airliners hijacked on 9-11-2001 and quickly followed by the unsuccessful Shoe Bomber and then the Underwear Bomber and some bombs hidden in printer cartridges and the body cavities of dogs. But now we hear that certain Muslims may become exempt from these inconvenient body pat-downs and x-ray scans because they object to them on "religious" grounds. The radical followers of Islam, or should we call them the most devout of all Muslims, were the only reason the TSA was created in the first place. Finally, let all of the brave airline travelers give thanks to the surgical gloves worn by the TSA agents that are protecting them from the germs and bed bugs they would be touching when they stick their hands down someones underpants and then passing those germs and bed bugs on to the next traveler they pat down. 
Here are a few examples of how some pundits have depicted these enhanced security measures from a humorous point of view. The first done was before the Underwear Bomber.
And a more risque adaptation of this theme that came following the unsuccessful bomb carried inside the underwear of the Christmas Bomber. (This is the censored version. I hope you are not offended)
All right, laughter is the best medicine. Smirks and giggles are acceptable, as well. Now that we all feel better dealing with this crisis it's time to examine some other things we have to be thankful for. This ought to finish off the coverage of our tragic comedy at the airports, so lets look at the othe humor for Black Friday.
We have a lot to be thankful for what Barack Hussein Obama has done for our country. Besides waking up the voters this year, Obama has helped create a who list of new jokes on the shape of our economy. Here is an example that I got in an email the other day. I don't know who wrote it but whoever they were they are right on the mark.
The economy is so bad that...

. I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

. African television stations are now showing 'Sponsor an American Child' commercials.

. Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can't afford batteries.

. I ordered a burger at McDonald's and the kid behind the counter asked,
"Can you afford fries with that?"

. CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

. Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

. My ATM gave me an IOU!

. I saw a Mormon polygamist with only one wife.

. I bought a toaster oven and my free gift with purchase was a bank.

. If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

. McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

. Angelina Jolie adopted a child from the U.S.

. Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and had to learn their children's names.

. A truckload of Gringos was caught sneaking into Mexico .
. Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.

. A picture is now only worth 200 words.
. They have renamed Wall Street "Wal-Mart Street."

. When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.
. The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.

And, finally...

. Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal.
Great! The guy who made $50 billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 trillion disappear!
Now everyone, go unload your treasured purchases from the car and go back out and do more shopping. You don't have to go back to work until Monday. We all gotta do our part to help the economy. Your have only 28 more shopping days till Christmas.

1 comment:

  1. The First Thanksgiving (Pilgrims, Indians, Walmart)


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